I’ve been bursting at the seams since I got the news and I just can’t wait any longer! I am going to be hosting my very first GIVEAWAY!!! I am so excited to give you more details, but there are things that must be done before that information can be shared. Be sure to keep your eye out for more info in the days to come!
For now, though, it’s back to taking my life back…
Greetings from beautiful Southern Missouri where Ol’ Man Winter has decided to finally make his grand appearance. This year, Mr. Winter chose to use a “fashionably late” approach, but it seemed to get everyone’s attention as we are now at the end of November and that bitter chill has finally made its way into those breezy gusts of winter wind. Only a few young
er members of our society are stepping outside the house while wearing shorts or missing a jacket.
This year, that wind seems to carry an extra bite as I’ve so quickly begun to shed that extra layer of defense that I have been carrying for so many years. It’s such an amazing feeling to know my body has changed so much since Septemeber that it is now having to learn how to handle familiar situations in new ways. It’s mind-boggling how quickly our bodies can begin to heal when we stop inflicting damage upon them and focus on living healthy lives. So, as I snuggle up in my winter sweater and hide from the bitter chill by staying inside with my beautiful Christmas decorations this evening, I’d like to talk about an epiphany I had this Thanksgiving: you can’t make anyone want or desire change. Period.
Over the past two and a half months, I have been documenting my story with the hopes of showing others in my situation that it doesn’t take a miracle to change one’s life. Far too many times, I have been sitting on the couch watching the story of someone that lost huge amounts of weight, felt momentary inspiration, and picked up my next slice of pizza and washed it down with a smooth Bud Light. They put forth so much fanfare and jubilation that it’s inspiring to see someone that has worked so hard being rewarded with the positive attention and gifts. But why didn’t that inspiration lead to change?
Seeing a moving story and the possibility of achieving a goal I’ve always had, but never really pursued, was inspiring. For me, though, I couldn’t feel more than a few moments of inspiration because I felt like that person had miraculously found a way to do something I COULD NEVER DO! My goal with documenting my journey was so that people could see that no miracle takes away 250 pounds… making better choices does.
So many people have visited with me and asked me questions about what I am doing. Throughout the entirety of my journey, though, those that are looking for change are inevitably DISAPPOINTED when I offer that I have gotten rid of processed foods, eat more vegetables, and track my macros. It’s like they are secretly hoping I’ve found some new, cheap wonder-drug that will help them lose the weight without actually trying or working to reach their goal. The disappointment leads to different choices: criticize my strategy, compliment and offer suggestions for improvement on my strategy, simply admit the disappointment, offer reasons why they couldn’t duplicate my behaviors, minimize their choices by focusing on one or two healthy choices that they make… Get the picture?
People HATE change and do everything they can to remain in a place that they feel comfortable with their current situations. No matter how obviously negative the situation or how devastating the doctor’s warning was, people actively resist making any choice that is uncomfortable. Denial is a blanket that makes us feel comfortable and gives us a false sense of belief that we really aren’t “that bad” and helps us to silence that small voice inside that is screaming for something different.
So, isn’t my goal for this blog a pointless one? Considering the above information, I have to admit that it could definitely appear that way. However, what if some
one has already decided to change and find me while they are actively pursuing or preparing for change? Could I inspire them or offer those people tips for success? That’s a big HELL yes.
With that knowledge, I’ll continue my approach with a slightly improved vision for this blog and the goals I have for writing it. I can be an inspiration, but I can’t force or create the desire for change. That’s a personal process for everyone… just like it was for me.
For now, though, it’s back to taking my life back…
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This morning, I finally left the 400-pound mark behind. Thanks for helping me celebrate, MyFitnessPal!
For now, though, it’s back to taking my life back…
Find me on social media:
On September 11, 2016, my wife and I started a journey. We didn’t know at the time that this journey was going to turn our entire world upside down. At first, we had no idea what we were doing. We had set a date to start with the expectation to make a plan before it arrived, but I put off planning until it was grocery day. We took a few minutes to look up some recipes, got a few ideas for stuff to buy ,and then we headed to the grocery store.
Part of our plan quickly became the inclusion of a cheat meal. The rules for the cheat meal 
were simple: calories don’t matter with the expectation that we don’t go completely crazy. As we reached our first cheat meal, though, we felt guilty and stayed within our calorie limit for the day. It wasn’t until several weeks into our change that we finally let loose and had a funnel cake when we went to a local haunted corn maze with friends.
The longer we are doing this, though, the more that the idea of a “cheat meal” bothers me. With each passing week, this change becomes more and more integrated into our lives as a lifestyle choice rather than a diet or weight loss strategy. Not just in theory, but in reality. This is what makes the idea of a “cheat meal” or “cheat day” so unacceptable to us. We’re not cheating on anything. We’re just living our lives.
Think about it for a second. To maintain the idea of a “cheat meal,” it means that we are cheating on something. If we are implementing a lifestyle where healthy foods are the priority, why is it cheating when we exercise our ability to have something other than our typical food choices? Rather than cheating, wouldn’t it be best to think of it as using our ability to make good, healthy choices?
Cheat meals aren’t all bad, though. By only allowing ourselves one per week, we have been training our bodies that less healthy foods, though great tasting, are terrible choices if eating frequently. Cheat meals have helped us to learn the art of eating less healthy foods in moderation. This process has been great for helping us to solidify our changes, learn how to establish boundaries, and maintain those boundaries. However, that seems to be where the effectiveness of cheat meals starts to fade.
This past weekend, I fully enjoyed a wonderful cheat meal with my wife as we elected to have sushi. With our best guestimates, we are both relatively sure that we took full advantage of our cheat meal. Yet, on Saturday night, I elected to give myself another treat: alcohol. Yep, even though I had sushi on Friday night, I was extremely proud of 
myself for all of our accomplishments and I decided to have another treat. So, I went to the local liquor store, bought a 2 oz bottle of Knob Creek, and a 20 oz diet coke.
Now wait… Didn’t I promote that I gave up smoking, soda, alcohol, and bad foods in order to regain my health? When I started this journey, soda and sweet tea were the only fluids I ingested. In regards to alcohol, while nowhere near being an alcoholic, I regularly enjoyed several glasses of whiskey over the course of a weekend. Does having this treat make me a failure on these goals? Do I have to start my count over? Heck no! I’m still doing fantastic! For me, having this treat did not tempt me to go back to old patterns. I simply exercised my choice to have these things in moderation in accordance with the standards of my new life: less healthy foods only being eaten in light moderation.
I’m certainly not wanting to use this blog to tell anyone how to live his or her life . If you enjoy the practice of a “cheat day,” I’m all for it. As for my wife and I, though, we’re done feeling like we are cheating on a diet. We are just living our life. Does our lifestyle still have boundaries? Does our lifestyle still have caloric expectations? You betcha! But we’re not cheating when we have our weekly date night meal together or springing for that special adult drink. We’re just living our life.
For now, though, it’s back to taking my life back…
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It was bound to happen and it finally did. After doing so well over the past several weeks, one of us finally cracked and splurged on the chocolate. I was standing at work talking to our wonderful support staff when my wife texted me with a confession: “I messed up… I had candy… sorry for slipping.” My first feeling was my heart cracking as I realized my wife must be hating herself for breaking such a wonderful track record. I quickly responded, “I love you so much.” Then I added, “You don’t need to confess, but I’m glad you are holding yourself accountable.” Turns out, she had been comparing our weigh ins and was feeling extremely disappointed and vulnerable. Then, later in the day, our good buddy Chocolate started whispering out his usual promises of comfort. Who wouldn’t be tempted to say, “Screw it,” and give in?
If you’re one of the lucky ones that have never struggled with your weight, you may not understand. The rest of us know, however, that the process of making life changes is so difficult that the changes are often abandoned quickly enough that the phrase, “It’s not a diet. It’s a life change,” has almost become a tired cliché… even to us! Ever heard someone make that statement and you silently groan and wonder how long it will last this time? Yet, that is what this entire process has been: a life change (more like EXTREME LIFE MAKEOVER). It has been 11 weeks since I quit smoking, 9 weeks since have had soda (or any liquid calorie other than milk), 9 weeks since I had a taste of whiskey (I know – liquid calories, but I’m proud), and 9 weeks of eating fresh foods at home. In those 9 weeks, I’m proud to announce that we have lost a combined total of 73.4 pounds!!!
But why has the idea of a life change become such an irritating phrase to hear? After years of diets and exercises that only worked temporarily, I can tell you that CHANGE is hard… VERY HARD. More than once already I have been tempted to take a quick drive thru on the way home as both of us were getting home late from work and the idea of cooking/cleaning left a sour taste in my mouth. It’s no wonder that over 95% of people that attempt this journey have failed!
Moments of weakness can become patterns of behavior if we allow ourselves to give in and, FAR WORSE, allow guilt to keep up trapped in a negative cycle. When my wife texted me, I sensed that she was te
rribly disappointed in herself. When I shared I was writing this today, she expressed her irritation as the guilt of that moment still seems to be plaguing her. Yet, when we got home that night, my wife’s moment of weakness was two fun size pieces of candy and she was still WITHIN her calorie limit for the day! (Yes, she has reviewed the completed post and has given her blessing.)
As I think back to all the times I have tried to change my life or lose weight, I recall so many times that guilt and disappointment led to the unraveling of my progress. Stress, anxiety, disappointment, anger, guilt, hunger., etc., all present so many attractive doorways to temptation and it is SO hard not to take one when you feel like all your efforts are literally doing no good. Then, we are left feeling worthless and guilty as we revert from a victim of our circumstances to a failure for giving in. The cycle is paralyzing and can easily send anyone back to the patterns they are trying to leave behind.
Let me tell you something, it is virtually impossible to wreck your entire process of change in one day. Unless you allow your emotions to keep you stuck and your incident of failure becomes a pattern of failure, one terrible day will cause nothing more than a lightly felt bump in the road. The best thing you can do when you give in is to accept it and move forward. False guilt, shame, feelings of failure, etc., will only exacerbate the problem and set you back. That’s the beauty of having a partner that is taking this journey with me. Together, we were able to accept her “failure” and move on. In our case, there was no damage, but there could have been if guilt and shame were allowed to take root and begin the unraveling of such a beautiful journey.
For now, though, it’s back to taking my life back…
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Just for fun, I’ve added a page that includes the various meals that I’ve been especially proud of myself for making. I already have ideas for things I’d like to do this page including clickable links that lead to the ingredients, nutritional info, etc. Check it out!
When you think of healthier eating habits, what’s the next thought you have? Do you think about losing weight? Do you think about vegetables? Do you think about starving yourself to death? Our society has equated healthy eating habits with several of those things. However, my first thought while I was in the contemplative stage of change was the cost. Prior to starting this journey, my wife and I were already spending way too much on food. The mere idea of increasing that bill was a very unwelcome idea. Sound familiar?
Take a second and type “healthy eating cost” into a search engine. No really, I’ll wait. What were your results? Did you find articles that would discourage change? I did. Once I set out to the grocery store to embark on my new journey to health, I was IMMEDIATELY questioning whether this would be something we could maintain after we got that first $300 bill. That question got worse after we ended up needing to go grocery shopping only a week later. I don’t consider myself to be poor, but I definitely can’t afford a $300/week grocery bill.
Today , I would love to share some tips I have learned to cut our bill down by over 71% from that first week – a cost even LOWER than our original unhealthy grocery bill!!!
When we started our journey, our first grocery bill was $300! It was insane. However, by learning these lessons, we have been able to drop our grocery bill to about $85 each week on average. Our grocery bill is even cheaper than it was before we started this journey! It is my hope that you can take our experiences and avoid those first few weeks of terrible grocery bills. Remember, this is not a forced process. Slow down, take a deep breath, and then invest the time to shop smartly (this will take time), but it gets easier.
For now, though, it’s back to taking my life back…
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250pounds2forever 