Less Than a Failure?

The sparrow has returned to the ark and he was finally carrying a twig!

I can’t believe how much rain we have had and the amount flooding that has impacted our area, but I’m glad the waters have receded, the internet is restored, and I’m back from one of the best events I’ve ever been able to attend!!!  This last month has been one of neutrality.  After months of running hard towards my goals, things seem to have reached a standstill.  I can’t remember the last time that I went to the gym.  I can’t remember the last time that I tracked a whole day’s calories.  I can’t remember the last time I felt the need to get back in the swing of things and start hammering away at my goals.  Honestly, I don’t know when I will jump back on that train and begin shedding pounds again.  Tomorrow?  Next week?  I really don’t know.

(I apologize in advance for the drunk lady in front of my mic)

This weekend was the Garth Brooks concert.  I loaded up with a couple of my buddies and we set out for a concert and arrived at a huge learning experience.  I’m still processing the results of that learning experience and will likely share more later.  However, as I stood in line, navigated the hallways of the Sprint Center, and stood through almost three hours of action-packed excitement with 18,999 other people, I realized I was living my life and having fun (calorie and guilt free)… and it felt good.

Before the concert, I warned my friends that I am one of those nerds that would sing every word.  However, even before Mr. Brooks hit the stage, I found myself entering a mood of silent stupidity.  I didn’t know what I should say, what I should do, or even what I was feeling.  As the first song started, that stupor just continued.  I literally stood and watched the entire event in practical silence as I took in the event that unfolded in front of my eyes.  Despite enjoying the show and the energy of the crowd, I simply stood silently and watched.  It was the next day and I was home and driving alone in the car before I finally caught up with it all.  The surrealism faded and my mind was left with nothing to focus on but the fresh memories that had just been stored.

I didn’t know I would take a month away from here after I posted about self-sabotage, but that’s what ended up happening.  I don’t know that I can think of my last month as sabotage, though, cause I lost about 10 pounds.  Am I failure?  Am I success?  I don’t know, but I had a helluva lot of fun last month and it ended on a high note.  Seems to me, I’m just enjoying “The Dance” without the pressure.  All things considered, maybe my blog is more appropriately named than I realized.

For now, though, it’s back to taking my life back…

  • September 11, 2016: 450+pounds
  • Today: 328.2 pounds
  • Total loss  121.8 pounds (45.6% of my total excess body weight)

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One thought on “Less Than a Failure?

  1. The video says, “unavailable.” Thought you should know.
    Glad to see you back. These journeys are rarely unilateral. Life seems to interfere and old patterns seem to rear their heads. Knowledge, however, never fades. You know what needs to be done… It becomes a matter of CHOICE. That, is your decision alone. Search for the TRUTH in whatever you decide. This helps create self acceptance; something we’re all entitled to.


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